Ways To Handle Stress

Jam 39 tiny marshmallows up your nose and try to sneeze them out
Use your Mastercard to pay your visa.
Pop some popcorn without putting the lid on
When someone says "have a nice day" tell them you have other plans.
Find out what a frog in a blender really looks like.
Forget the Diet Center and send yourself a candygram.
Make a list of things that you've already done.
Dance naked in front of your pets.
Put your toddler's clothes on backwards and send them off to
preschool as if nothing was wrong.
Retaliate for tax woes by filling out your tax forms with Roman numerals.
Tattoo "out to lunch" on your forehead.
Tape pictures of your boss on watermelons and launch them from high places.
Leaf through National Geographic and draw underwear on the natives.
Go shopping. Buy everything. Sweat in it. Return it the next day.
Buy a subscription to Sleezoid Weekly and send it to your boss' wife.
Pay your electric bill in pennies. 17. Drive to work in reverse.
Relax by mentally reflecting on your favorite episode of the
Flintstones" during that important finance meeting.
Sit naked on a shelled hard-boiled egg.
Refresh yourself. Put your tongue on a cold steel guardrail.
Tell your boss to blow it out a his mule and let him figure it out.
Polish your car with ear wax.
Read the dictionary upside down and look for secret messages.
Start a nasty rumor and see if you recognize it when it comes back to you.
Bill your doctor for the time spent in his waiting room.
Braid the hairs in each nostril.
Write a short story; using alphabet soup.
Lie on your back eating celery....using your navel as a saltdipper.
Stare at people through the lines of a fork and pretend they're in jail.
Make up a language and ask people for directions.
At lunch time, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on and point a hair dryer at passing cars and see if they slow down
Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries with that.
In the memo field of all your checks, write "for sexual favors."
Finish all your sentences with "in accordance with the prophecy."
Don't use any punctuation
As often as possible, skip rather than walk.
Ask people what sex they are. Laugh hysterically after they answer.
Specify that your drive-through order is "to go."
Sing along at the opera.
Go to a poetry recital and ask why the poems don't rhyme.
Five days in advance, tell your friends you can't attend their party because you're not in the mood.
When the money comes out the ATM, scream "I won!", "I won!" "3rd time this week!!!!!"
When leaving the zoo, start running towards the parking lot, yelling "run for your lives, they're loose!!"
Tell your children over dinner. "Due to the economy, we are going to have to let one of you go."